Gender and Transgression Review

Attending my first conference felt like a big step, let alone giving a paper! I know when something has been built up as a life experience, "your first _________", I've rarely felt that it was as special as it had been made out. In this case however I feel different today compared to before I left on Thursday. I feel like I'm now within the hallowed group of academics who are "on the circuit" of conferences and that I'm a more mature scholar now that I have absorbed other people's research so intensely and been put under scrutiny for my own work.

My paper was on the second day in the last session. I was with Tom O'Donnell who talked about lactating male saints and Nick Mayhew who talked about eunuchism in early Rus. Both were fantastic talks and I really enjoyed them, especially having already done mine. I was terrified of the questions and of getting one which I couldn't answer. I felt like I don't know as much about my topic as other people know about theirs. I got a question from Prof Robert Bartlett, which was so exciting (his programme about the Plantagenets is one of my favourites in recent times), about Henry II but it was gentle and discursive and allowed me to use what I know. I got another question about comparisons with other kings which was pretty straight-forward so my fears dissipated quickly! It also led to an idea for a comparison with Robert II of Scotland which may or may not be fruitful.

The experience of going to a conference was a great one too. I got the chance to talk to people in the same or similar situation as I'm in - just starting out and we got to make connections which I wouldn't have made on my own. Helpfully I got to ask questions about the departments of St Andrews and Kings, both of which I'm applying to for my PhD (hopefully). I also got to talk to people who are a bit further on and to gain their experience.


Things I learned

• I want to be like the keynote speaker Dion Smythe who seemed to do his paper without notes and made everyone laugh. He made his topic (Byzantine eunuchs) seem so accessible which is no mean feat as I've never done anything about the topic ever and I feel like I understand it even a little now. Fluency and comfort behind the lectern are only available through practice. 

• Pictures are great. I really enjoyed the papers which were specifically visual such as Emily Savage's analysis of wheelbarrows in marginalia or Sarah Griffin's look at a schematic uterus design, or even Pavla Drapelova's analysis of Byzantine empresses on coins. 

• Papers read from a script sitting down are the least interesting. Continue doing what you're doing by having notecards and standing up

• Having some time in the city before or after the conference is fine. Everyone else does it and it's your opportunity to see the world. Also it's rubbish having to rush off when everyone else is enjoying a final cup of tea. 

• Practice paleography - sit in front of the tv and make the motions. This will help you to figure out minims when reading Latin. 

• Bring spare batteries; you never know when the clicker will run out of juice!

• Bring clothes which are suitable for the pub afterwards; you might end up dancing the night away!

• A lot of academics are a bit socially awkward; being a sociable and outgoing person really helps no matter how painful it is initially.

I'm lucky that my first conference was a graduate conference and that it was somewhere so small. It gave me the confidence to know that I can manage my own affairs and that I am good enough.

Now I just have to submit the expenses form...